God is so faithful

I must share a secret. I am quite shy and scared of new things. I haven't always been like this, it began when I was a teenager. I became petrified of ever getting on a plane again, which made me sad, I so enjoyed the summers spent wandering the Black Forrest, picking blackberries and meeting new family. When I went to university I almost lost it. I had anxiety attacks for the first month, and wanted to run away to my sister's house and hide. Sometimes there are clear moments in our lives when we can make the choice to move forward, or take a step back. At that moment I took that step forward, and have been trying to continue stepping forward in all the choices I have made since then. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "it was high counsel I once heard given to a young person, 'always do what you are afraid to do." God has used this to push me and prod me out of my little bubble to see the world beyond, and in this to see him. To do this you must have much faith that his will will be done, and he will provide for you, sometimes in the most unlikely ways.

Last night my sister mentioned reading, "The Horse and his Boy," by C.S. Lewis. The idea of God pushing us to be more then we think we can be, is illustrated beautifully in this book. In the story Shasta is complaining that God is never with him, but then God goes on to tell him of all the times he was there protecting, pushing, guiding, scaring and comforting him, so that Shasta would become the best of who he is. I love this image so much. Just because we don't see or feel him doesn't mean he isn't working all around us.

This trip has been a bit scary for me, I am doing what I have always been afraid to do, traveling as a single, white female in countries that I know very little about. But God has constantly provided for me. Today for instance, I searched everywhere for an ATM that would accept MasterCard, no success. As I was walking back to my hotel I was thanking God for the Internet at my hotel and the western union signs I had seen around town. As the last resort I could email my dad and have him wire some money. But when I am trying to explain this to the very nice receptionist he says, "well why don't you use it here?" they can withdraw money from my credit card and give me cash. I almost started crying knowing that God had answered my prayers.

To many this may seem like such a small insubstantial coincidence, but I know that God was working in this situation. So often when devastating things happen in my life it feels as though God has abandoned me. But when he is present in these small matter he is surely there in the catastrophes as well.

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Today is day three on my antibiotics and I am feeling very healthy, and being much more careful of what I consume.

Rwanda is very interesting so far. It feel almost more like Europe than Africa. They roads are all nicely paved and they have traffic lights that people actually obey, which is quite shocking to me. For those who have been to the Methodist Guesthouse, the place I am staying is very similar. Quiet, clean, lots of beautiful plants, and very friendly staff.

More news on the city when I venture out more. Today is a holiday and everything is shut, so staying low today. Sorry for so many, many blogs as of late, feel free to ignore the persistent Facebook demands!

Love you all
xoxo suz

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Location:Rue Depute Kamuzinzi,Kigali,Rwanda