My Pants are too Big

Yes, it has been only a week and a half and my pants are already too big. It's not that i am going hungry, we simply just don't snack over here. and when we do eat, we eat out of necessity, not for pleasure. i think this is almost the perfect description of what life it like here. They work all day for their daily bread, and water, and when they have it, they eat it, and go out and repeat the process the next day. It is sometimes hard to wrap my mind around how shockingly different life is here. In some ways you have to harden your heart to survive. Last year my dad came and visited. I took him downtown to do some shopping and we saw a women that i come across every once in a while. I don't know exactly what is wrong with here feet, maybe parasites, or elephantiasis, but her feet are so huge they do not fit in shoes. Of course the soles of her feet are very callused, i would wonder if she could feel anything. My dad just felt horrible about this women's situation. He asked me how i can see those things everyday, and the only answer i came up with was sometimes i have to harden my heart to such things or i wouldn't be able to live here. Now of course we were two americans who are used to someone, somewhere, whether the government or private support, stepping in and solving a crisis like this one. But here that is life. It doesn't matter if you are sick you still need to provide for yourself and your family. This seems like such a sad thing to say, but at the same time is it almost a blessing. Life here is simple, people work hard for what they have. I love America, i love technology and fast food, but i think those things have also made us lazy in a lot of ways. Not to say Americans don't work hard, but i think we get so caught up in our own society and culture, that we forget what life is about sometimes.

Dear God

help me

to live content with small means,

to seek elegance rather than luxury, 

and refinement rather than fashion,

to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich,

to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly,

to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with an open heart. 

to bear all cheerfully,

do all bravely,

await occasions,

hurry never-

in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, 

grow up through the common.

this is to be my symphony.

amen.

William Henry Channing

Rain, Rain

As i am typing this the rain is pounding so hard on the tin roof i am having a hard time hearing my own thoughts. the rainy season is in full force, and it is a huge blessing! I don't know how many of you fallow east african news, but there has been a horrible famine not too far from where i am currently living. the last rains were not sufficient enough to support people through the dry season (our summer), and it has really left a lot of people devastated. I hope and pray that these rains will last long enough to produce a good enough crop so that it will last through the next dry season.

Even though the rain sometimes limits my activities i am still having fun, and getting to hang out with all my animal friends. Yesterday i helped deworm 13 goats. Trying to open a goats mouth and force something down their throats is not an easy thing to do, but it was fun! This is weird, but one of my favorite thing to do is stick my fingers in the goat pen and the little goats come up and nibble on them. it is the best tickely feeling! And since i left my baby cow had her own baby, and i go by every day and give it a treat and a pet. it is very handsome little calf, and it loves to have its forehead and chin scratched.

Well that is all for now, hope that everyone is well!

xoxo Suzanne

The Jacaronda's are blooming

Things Forgotten

I have only been gone 5 months and i am surprised by what i forgot in that short amount of time. these are the first 5 that popped into my head:

1. sticking sharp objects in light sockets to get them to work, (thankfully they have an on/off switch)
2. constantly swerving on the road because of:
1. horrible, horrible drivers
2. random people
3. all manner of farm animals
3. how wonderfully refreshing any cold drink can be
4. the joy of washing all laundry by hand
5. no matter how hard i try to learn the language and customs, i will always stick out as being a white 

I am doing so, so much better and am enjoying myself so much! it is soo good to see all my old friends. Again, i cannot thank everyone enough for the enormous support i have received over the last few days! love to all!

Suzanne  

Meru

Well i have arrived in Meru. When i was in Nairobi i really just wanted to come home, but i decided that i needed to at least come to Meru and see what happens. I am now staying with Ruth Matiiri, Lawi Imathiu's daughter, and i am feeling better. I still am having some anxiety, but i am working through it. I am not really sure what the future holds, but right now i am not planning on staying for a year. I am thinking of coming home around Christmas. These last 5 months i have really been feeling God pulling me back here, and everything just worked out so well, that i thought i should come back. And now that i am here, i feel like there is an ending coming. I love it here and want to be here, but i don't know if this is the right time to be here. Before i came i prayed that God would show me clearly if i was supposed to be here or not, and in a way it is an answer to prayer. I am not going to come home right away, there is a reason God called me back over here. Thank you so much to all of you who have show support and been praying for me,  i appreciate it sooo much! Please continue to keep me in your prayers. Love to you all!

Prayers Please

Just having a bit of anxiety, and would really apprecite some prayers and support. I am having a hard time trying to decide what to do, i feel like i should stick it out, but i really just want to come home. i am trying to stick it through but please pray for direction. sorry for the downer, but i need some direction. 

Nairobi

Got to Nairobi about 8 last night and it feels so nice to be back. I have spent most of the day recovering and sleeping, and hope to be headed to Meru these next couple of days. Not much else to report. Thinking of all of you and miss you!

Two Nights Before Takeoff!

Wow. Two days before I am leaving for Kenya, and so exhausted and overwhelmed. There is a constantly changing list in my head that wont let me sleep, and sadness in my heart for everyone I am leaving behind. I am so excited to go, but it is hard to say goodbye for a year! 

Also completely overwhelmed by the support and love i have gotten from all my friends and family! Thank you to all of you who have reached out and let me know you are thinking and are praying for me, it is so much appreciated! I will miss you all so much!